Monday, July 24, 2006

Go to the Mall, Says National Weather Service

The National Weather Service has issued yet another severe weather warning for much of northern California today, advising people to "spend time in an air-conditioned locations such as malls..."

People seem to be heeding the advice by spending time in enclosed malls, enjoying climate-controlled comfort. Open-air malls, on the other hand, were completely deserted as oppressive global warming consumed the area. A record 115 degrees in Livermore was an all-time Bay Area high. It even put to shame Las Vegas, which only topped out at 99.

As the heat continued, people are advised to shop shop shop, but only in malls. Spend lots of money since loitering is not allowed.

Scott

2 comments:

Steven Swain said...

The National Weather Service rules :-)

Georob said...

How do we know the National Weather Service isn't a consortium funded by Westfield, Mills, and Simon?